Tonight I find myself writing a eulogy for my recently deceased friend, Gremlin. I honestly never thought I would be writing this as I had always assumed that we would both grow into old curmudgeons that laughed together as the world burned. I have known Gremlin for almost thirty years, despite never meeting him in person. There was a brief opportunity to do so back when I was still shilling knives for Cutco, but it didn’t work out. I had attempted to arrange research trips that would place me in the Denver metro area, and I was looking forward to future SVP trips that would take place at the Denver Museum, all mostly so we could hang out together. It was all too little and too late.
For all the later Millennials and Zoomers out there, yes we did know each other’s real names. However, this is a friendship born from the early days of the internet and we respect handles here.
We met on Dan’s The Lost World: Jurassic Park page back in 1996 (one can read some of this history here). We were both more interested in the science of dinosaurs more so than the pageantry of the movies, so we got along splendidly. Gremlin was the first person I met who had the technical knowledge of paleontology that extended beyond a typical dinosaur book. I always appreciated that he never held back from talking about these more technical topics using the jargon of the field. He never dumbed things down. This forced you and others to keep up. At the time, my interest in paleontology was present but only the pilot light was on (I knew I wanted to be a paleontologist but I had no real outlet). Gremlin’s similar interests and higher calibre approach to discussions fueled that fire and really got me out of my complacency. There were several moments where we would get into deep discussions about dinosaur topics on Dan’s board that led to comments becoming so deeply threaded that the board would crash. Those were good times.
Gremlin started his site, gremlin.net back in 1997 and he had his own message boards for people to hang out. There, myself, Gremlin, our friend (and his future S.O.) Hunter, along with several other characters (whatever happened to The Host?) hung out and had discussions about any and all things. A mainstay of Gremlin’s site, and a signature aspect of his writing was the What’s New section. Here, Gremlin would recount some interesting events of the previous night or several days. Many of these stories involved altercations with the weird denizens of Denver and Des Moines, usually told from the perspective of a booth at TGI Fridays / Perkins / Village Inn, and usually near the time of bar closing. These stories were often entertaining and served as a testament to Gremlin’s writing prowess.
Gremlin was often the smartest person in the room. He never bragged about it but he also didn’t hesitate from showing you (i.e., he didn’t suffer fools). He was one of the few people I’ve met that really understood how unmoved the universe is by us. In a world where nothing matters it’s up to you to decide what’s worth caring about. Gremlin was a nihilist, an absurdist, a perspicacious vespertine, and a self-described high-functioning sociopath. Personality wise, many of us compared him to a mix of Sherlock and Rick Sanchez. Gremlin was a polymath and chief among his talents was writing. He was a book author who weaved detailed fictional stories along with scathing commentaries of the world around us. All of his books can still be purchased online via Amazon.
As the years progressed, the internet became more and more welcoming to the average Joe. This meant lowering the technical requirements to get online and the rise of the walled garden of social media. This rampant growth of this region of the internet caused a vast contraction in the rest of the world wide web. Message boards and chat rooms evaporated as they were replaced with the social commenting system of Facebook, Twitter, and others. The Gremlinboard was no different. So, we followed suit, and Gremlin, Hunter, and I followed each other onto the different social media sites. Despite the format changes, neither Gremlin nor I ever stopped using the main (real) web. Gremlin’s website may have ditched the message board, but he still kept the What’s New section updated from time to time.
Gremlin further diversified his portfolio via his LLC, Wasted Inc. Along with the website and his various books, Gremlin also started a YouTube channel with Let’s Play videos and other sundries. Gremlin maintained a webcomic called StickPrimo, that he updated daily. He was an avid 3D modeler and would upload his various creations onto his site for fun or to act as gateways to other parts of the website. He originally worked with Lightwave on the Amiga back when that was the industry standard. A few years back he transitioned to Blender and Unreal Engine 5. We often had discussions about the various modeling approaches we have used and their best practices.
He liked extant reptiles as much as I do and was a herpetoculturist. At different points in time he had raised a Nile monitor (Monty), and two alligators (Trinity and Rex). Early in our friendship I lost my first iguana (Ripley) to disease and I wrote a small tribute to her on the Gremlinboard. Without any prompting, Gremlin took my text and placed it, along with a photo of my iguana, on his site. It was an unexpected but welcomed surprise. Despite the sociopath tendencies, Gremlin readily did these things unprompted. He respected good work and passion, even if he may not have always understood the point of it.
He was a truly unique individual and the world feels a lot emptier without him in it. Goodbye my friend.
[No] more later…
