(no subject)

[MarkSabercat@aol.com]

REUTERS, 4/1/04-- Vodka flowed freely this morning in the foyer of the 
Lysenko Institute of Earth Sciences, Yakutsk, where Branislov Krapotkin today 
announced the discovery of an enormous, nearly complete titanosaurid skeleton 
in the 
northern Siberian island of Novaya Gloriosky. The remains, missing only the 
skull, cervical and dorsal series, appendicular elements and ribs, was found in 
a finely crossbedded conglomerate soapstone deposit of Lancian age, a part of 
the Belasco Member of the Stroganov Formation, known for yielding earlier 
titanosaurid  finds such as Taigatitan portentosa and Annelkia retenta. 

Large, amorphous concretions, some weighing up to 95 kg, were removed from 
the area immediately anterior to the pelvic opening, and Krapotkin believes 
that 
these may comprise the first solid evidence for fecal masses in a sauropod. 
Significantly, a preliminary analysis based on a microsection from one of the 
masses has mainly shown seeds and leaf fragments that may be referable to an 
early angiosperm, Paleoprunoides. "We think that these may have formed a major 
dietary component of these sauropods," said Lysenko Institute's director Porki 
Pihgge, a specialist in Mesozoic coprolites. "Thousands of such masses are 
probably all over the island, waiting to be found-we've only scratched the 
surface."

The University of Colorado's own specialist in ancient coprolites, Karen 
Chin, has thus far been unable to receive a response in regard to traveling to 
Russia to see the microsections and to possibly obtain samples for study in the 
U.S., but a Lysenko spokesperson said she would see to it that the impasse was 
immediately rectified. "There is plenty of this available", beamed Krapotkin, 
whose father was a noted sanitary engineering specialist at Lysenko during the 
Stalinist era until he was purged in 1948, having uttered a catchy but 
politically unsuccessful quote, "The shortage will be divided among the 
proleteriat.". The paleontologist ended with the statement that "a huge cast of 
the 
largest mass, measuring approximately 3.5 meters, will eventually grace the 
modernist courtyard in front of the entrance to our Institute." 

Most Russian scientists are now concerned that the low coastal geography of 
Novaya Gloriosky will make it among the first victims of the Earth's rising sea 
levels as the atmosphere heats up due to increased carbon emissions, thus 
obliterating the fossil site. The Lysenko Institute, however, has received 
hearty 
congratulations for the discovery from the Bush Administration, which 
expressed interest in obtaining a copy for the Smithsonian's Mall. "We want 
Americans 
to have this as an enduring symbol of this Administration's interest not only 
in paleontology, but also of our contribution to the ever warming climate of 
global relations.", said the President. 

-- From Maxim Oligarky (forwarded by Mark Hallett)