Re: mass extinctions and DDT

[Daniel Bensen <dbensen@gotnet.net>]

>>Glass- windows,
beads, bottles, old telephone insulators, obsidian arrowheads- would
remain, as would ceramics: pottery shards, broken dishes, roofing
tiles, bathroom tiles, teapots, sinks, bathtubs.<<
I thought glass melted after a long time.  Aren't there some big windows in a
chaple in Europe that are now thicker at the base because glass is just a really
really viscous liquid?  Or is that science babble?

>>The thought of future paleontologists yelling at each other
over the proper system of taxonomy for coke bottles and toilet bowls
is just hilarious.<<

I'm sorry, but I just couldn't keep this bottled up any longer

    There is much debate as to whether the siliceous cola bottles are related to
the placticine bottles, or whether their similar shape is merely the result of
convergence.  While classical taxonomy places the two families in an orderly 
line
(with the "primitive" glassware giving way to the more "advanced" coverings of
flexible plastic) more modern classifications view the clades as part of a much
more complex, branching network of related forms.  Studies based apon markings
(logo-logo analysis) indicate that there were, in fact, two major clades of 
cola,
both of which began with the familiar rounded glass 'shells' and later 
diversified
into a wide range of forms.
    (Note:  Logo-logo analysis is a technique on the cutting edge of taxonomy 
and
involves comparisons of outward markings of fossil organisms.  Some scholars 
doubt
the veracity of this study, stating that the 'logos' are artifacts of 
preservation,
results of some inorganic process of mineral-leeching, or the decayed remains 
of a
collagen sheath that covered the organisms in life.  However, the famous 
Fauxpetre
strata, as well as those recently discovered in Hon-Baka prefecture, have 
proven to
most that bottles did, indeed possess a pictorial integument.)
    The placticine 'shells' were, indeed, part of this radiation, but logo-logo
analysis also draws connections from these clades to the cylindrical aluminate
fauna.  Cubical forms, very large and sturdily-built, appear at this time as 
well,
many of them with the smaller species miraculously preserved within.  Until 
quite
recently, these organisms were thought to be predators with meals preserved in
their gullets, but  recent studies of the cuboids' internal structure suggests 
that
the smaller forms actually resided inside their larger brethren, unhurt.  The
reason for this bizare symbiosis is unknown.  It is thought that the cube-like
canisters used served some reproductive function to the bottles, or perhaps the 
two
forms are actually different sexes of a single species. It has even been 
suggested
that the cube/bottle colonial organism functioned as an advertisement, 
attracting a
third species to perform some vital, reproductive function.  This maverick 
theory
has been the focus of much scorn in the paleontological community, but it does
offer an explanation for the metal disks often found in association with the 
cubes,
hypothesizing that these disks represent a vector for genetic material in much 
the
same way as pollen transports sperm.
    Bottles and their kin flourished during most of the Placticine era (in fact,
the very name of the time period reflects the composition of some of these
species), but died off abruptly in the same extinction that killed the graceful
paperclips and the mighty golf clubs (as well as many more obscure organisms 
such
as the CDs, key-chains, and beany-babies).  Theorize though we might, these
magnificent creatures are gone forever, never again to roam the Earth.  We will
never no for certain their true behaviors, or see them in their brilliant mating
colors, but one thing is clear.  The bottle fauna of the Placticine era was 
quite
un-canny.

Soda'r you have it.

Dan