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Re: The Dinosaur Mailing List to Merge with AOL-Time Warner

Regarding:

"A communications satellite and space station called the Soaropod was launched
on April 1. Dr. Thomas Holtz is paleontologist-in-orbit at the station,
generously beaming 500 hours of cladistics training down to classrooms around
the world."

Great name ... but how come some stuffy theropod expert gets to ride in it? =) And beaming 500 hours of cladistics to innocent children??? Are we trying to brain-wash the children of the world ... oh, right, never mind. =) =P Remember Dr. Holtz, opening your helmet in the vacuum of space is not generally recommended, even if you are stuffy. =) =P

P.S. Don't forget my recent publication:

Bonnan, M. F. 2001. Hovering sauropods: use of sulfuric gases channeled through manus and pes allows largest terrestrial vertebrates to float and stink. Journal of Irreproducible Results, 454(2): 2001-2010.

ABSTRACT: The joints of sauropod dinosaurs were probably fused together by cartilage, glue, and other household items. Therefore, like giant hovercrafts, they must have floated. But how? Recent speculation proves that dinosaurs secreted mass quantities of sulfur, and most got rid of it by turning it into feathers or poisonous venom which was projected at enemies, friends, and acquaintances. More recent speculation by me proves that the lower intestinal tract of sauropods was redirected through their hollow feet. As sauropods probably ingested large amounts of plants and sulfur from the dromaeosaurid strip mines, a noxious gas would build up in their guts. By releasing this gas in controlled and powerful bursts, sauropods would have floated, but always downhill. This is why their remains are ususally found in lowland river valleys. This speculation also proves that Spinosaurus and other theropods were good swimmers, as they would need to be able to get away from the awful stench.
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